Why I Practice Mindfulness Meditation

And what practice really means

I had a moment, the other morning, where I chose to be mindful.

At 5:30 I woke up, groggy, to clouds and rain and gloom, and struggled to get out of bed. Watched YouTube in bed for a while. Scrolled Substack notes on the toilet, not clicking into any actual articles. Brushed my teeth, still scrolling notes. Threw on some clothes.

At 7:07, I trudged down the stairs to make my morning cup of pour-over coffee. How had those few things taken over an hour and a half? I’m not sure. As I placed the filter into the funnel and poured some grounds into the filter, I absently noticed I hadn’t yet turned on the kettle. I turned it on, continued scrolling through notes. When the water was ready, I took the kettle in one hand and started pouring in circles around the grounds, still scrolling through notes.

And then I paused.

I’m not sure why.

But I noticed, in the middle of that pause, that I was missing it.

The gurgle of hot water trickling down into my mug. The bubbles that formed, the bloom of the grounds. The steam warming my hand. The ritual that brings me such joy in the morning. I was over halfway through the process; I hadn’t experienced a thing.

So I extended the pause. Put my phone in my pocket. Remembered my commitment to ritual, my work against convenience. Then continued pouring. Mindfully, this time.

It was a joy to pour my cup of coffee. All the little details lit the little inner sparks that make life enjoyable. It woke me up for the day, though I’d already technically been awake for almost two hours at that point.

The question, now, is what made me take that little pause? Where did my body and brain learn to do that?

Photo by Wes Walker on Unsplash

What was a little moment that gave you joy this week? Share with us in the comments!

Mindfulness as Existence

I’ve known about mindfulness meditation for years at this point. I’ve heard the mental health gurus’ preaching about its benefits. I’ve practiced it some. There are several meditation apps I’ve done the “basics” course on, with my (hopefully) free trials or (unfortunately, more likely) annual subscriptions I bought then used consistently for only a couple of weeks.

When practicing, I felt benefits in the moment and even for a short time thereafter. But the commitment to practice was too big for me. Ten minutes a day of eyes closed, no distractions felt impossible to keep up with. I knew I was learning some great things, felt a sense of accomplishment at the illusion of being more enlightened than many of my peers, but it wasn’t enough.

And so the cycle goes: Practice for a couple of weeks, think it’s awesome, want to stick with it, forget about it. The gurus aren’t lying about the practice being hard. For a long time, I’ve failed to understand how the benefits can outweigh the hard. Like, yeah, peace and calm and acceptance and awareness for ten minutes or a little longer is cool and all, but it doesn’t “set the tone” for the rest of my day like everybody says it will.

I’m finally beginning to understand, though, that the practice of meditation isn’t the whole deal. It doesn’t cure you of your zombie-ness, your anxiety, your depression for 24 hours like your deodorant does your stank (or… claims to). It is only what it claims to be: Practice. You build your “mindfulness muscles” when you meditate to beef them up for the real deal.

No, the real deal isn’t just longer bouts of meditation. It’s not that week long retreat Mr. Zuckerberg claims changed his entire perspective on life. No, the real deal is regular shmegular, plain old existence.

It’s the way you experience pouring steaming water into a funnel filled with caffeinated beans.

I flexed my mindfulness muscles for a moment, the other morning, and for that moment I experienced joy. True existence, as its meant to be experienced. A break from depression’s ugly gloom. All because of a little pause, which I’d unknowingly been practicing for, on and off again, for years.

The Age-Old Answer: Practice

I talk a lot about work here. Not careers, not jobs, just the daily work it takes for me to lead a life uninhibited. Fitness. Sleep hygiene. Diet. Values. Perspective. Slowness. Now mindfulness.

Guess that’s the real kicker, isn’t it? There’s no way to get rich quick. No light at the end of some proverbial tunnel. Just work. Even outside of the things I write about here. Relationships. Family. Community. Ambition. It’s all work.

But that work is life.

It’s love.

It’s joy.

Your mission this week is to work. Work on whatever you think you need to most right now. Maybe it’s the mindfulness practice, that you now understand (or was it just me being a dummy who didn’t get it the whole time?) that it’s practice for life, not practice for more of the same. Maybe it’s your sleep. Maybe it’s a specific value. If it is mindfulness you want to work on, here are a few tips to help you get started:

• Focus on your breath - how does it feel? Is it cold? Warm? Deep? Shallow? Becoming aware of your body’s sensations can be easiest if you start with the breath.

• When thoughts come, take note and let them pass. You don’t need to force them out, or hang on to them. They can come and go as they please! (for more on this, see my writing on acceptance)

• Try a meditation app (they really do help! There are several great ones at the top of any search for “meditation”)

Put in some work this week. I’ll try to as well.

I love you.

-Ethan

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This page is not intended to be medical advice. Consult with a psychiatrist or other provider before pursuing any treatment options discussed here.

If you are in crisis, call or text the National Suicide Hotline: 988